~~☪rystal ʝ☼y

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this is my getaway

Alls we really want in life is to be free. Free of the negative and free of the bullshit. To be happy. Happiness internally is the most rewarding gift of all. Why and how could it be so difficult. One day we feel alive and on top of the world then the next it’s like that confidence has crumbled up into a deep corner of our inner selves making it harder to reach. Letting the negative feed into what felt so free. “Nothing worth having comes easy” ain’t that that fricken truth. You have all you want in front of you. All you could ever dream of. Still there’s something there telling you you don’t deserve it or telling you it won’t last forever. Deep in my soul and all of our souls we know we deserve it. It’s so simple. Happiness. Freedom. Setting yourself free is such a beauty life has. In ways I suppose all the negative feelings we can have, all the deep dark corners of our minds…that can be beautiful too? Maybe because it helps us appreciate all the great we have or had. A lesson I’ve been learning is to live in the now. Never let ANYONE step all over your dreams and your true being. Making it seem like you’ve lost your true essence of being. The real reason you wake up with a smile on your face. Making you question all things in your mind you’ve ever felt beautiful. You’ve ever felt normal. Or excepted. What is normal? Ugh normal isn’t exactly a word I would feel great describing ones self in happiness. It could be boring. It could just be safe. Take risks at what feels right. There can be demons deep inside trying to ride you out but you can’t let it feed your mind. You can’t allow it to win you over. You (I) just as much as anyone else deserve happiness. Love and be loved. That’s truly such a gift. Love is such a beautiful thing. It lights the world up in sunshine stars and moonlight. All that we see when we walk outside. As well look UP. That is all real. That is true beauty. The universe is such a pleasant relief of beauty. It makes and helps you feel alive. Adventuring in the forest. Alone or with a precious few or one really is a reward. Helps you find yourself. I speak to the universe. I love the universe. The great feeling of existence is more a gift then anything. Being sad can be beautiful because it help you to realize being happy. I guess the real reason I’m going on and on about this…me answering my own questions. I’m on a quest or discovery. Trying to make sense of all feeling inside. Especially the dark feelings. I’m trying to except them but seriously deep down I know I can break free and excepting is just settling its safe and comfortable. Why not take the risk to rip down all the walls that have created it and make sense of it rather then not understanding and flat out excepting. Wait is that okay? I’m feeling strong as I write this I’m feeling more alive. Less alone in ways.